31 Day Challenge October

Day 27: a ‘battle’ lost

I feel like today’s prompt word is a sick joke I played on myself (cue the DJ Khaled memes). Either that or this October challenge was truly meant to be.

I’m making fun of it now because after two years of living in quietude, I feel like I can talk about it as if it was just another ordinary day. The date 27th October will always remind me of the words battle, fight, and loss. 27th October will never cease to be a reminder of the day I suffered and lost against one of the hardest trials of my life.

I have so many draft posts about it that I’ve lost count and lost the will to publish it. Each time I wished to write, I struggled to find the right angle. Each time my heart would end up in my throat, choking me till I could no longer breathe. But try as I have to ignore it, when Allah makes your prompt for the day the word you associate with the date, I guess I can’t run anymore… Maybe I can slow down though, take baby steps, uncover each layer as if unveiling a gift…

At the end of it all, what have I learnt? That things change, battle wounds always transform into anecdotes you share one day when someone prompts you with, “How did you get that scar?”

What do I feel? Honestly speaking, nothing but gratitude. How many lessons are hidden in the battles we face daily? If we were to ever stop and reflect, we would be left in awe.

What do I wish? I wish my unfulfilled prayers from that awful, awful period will be compensated with something much greater. Something I never thought to pray for, something my limited human mind could never comprehend…

In sha Allah.

6 thoughts on “Day 27: a ‘battle’ lost”

  1. Well if your prayers did go unanswered then remember there is something better written for you❤️ perhaps He had to let some of them go just so He could raise your levels in Jannah. Perhaps that trial was your ticket to Jannah! InShaAllah. And Allah is with the patient.
    And in my experience, drafts don’t help much usually. You could just delete them all and start fresh. But that’s up to you and however it suits you, of course. Just keep faith❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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